The Prophet (s) and Imam Ali (as) On the Effects of Stubbornness

Stubbornness destroys not only our spirituality, but also our social relationships.

By Syed Asghar Rizvi

The bane of many of our social relationships can find root in the stubbornness of people. We are unwilling to admit that we wrong, or take the benefits of criticism. Many fruitful jobs, relationships, friendships or opportunities have been lost because of obstinacy and we ourselves are the biggest losers of it.

The Prophet (s) once said:

اياك اللجاجة فان أولها جهل واخرها ندامة

Translation: Beware of obstinacy; it begins with ignorance and ends with regret.

Stubbornness does not lead to anywhere, it only blinds us and breeds hatred thus closing off opportunities for cooperation. 

Imam Ali (as) said:

ليس للجوج تدبير

Translation: A stubborn person does not contemplate

He also said:

اللجاج ينتج الحروب ويوغر القلوب

Translation: Stubbornness creates wars and brings hatred to the hearts

By bringing hatred into the hearts of others, we seal them from us thereby closing off any opportunity for personal and social growth our relationship with that person may have offered. Being stubborn isn’t always about being right, it is often about maintaining dominance and forcing our will on people. Relationships are not nurtured through imposition or proving we are right, but they are forged through negotiations, compromise and humility. Now of course we should be strong against evil and not submit to it, but think about it honestly, how much of our stubbornness is grounded against evil, and how much of it is to defend our own egos? 

Syed Asghar Rizvi is a senior writer and blogger at the World Shia Forum. He lives with his family in the Los Angeles, United States.